What to get those pesky pals who annoyingly do spuddy great things? You can't risk inflating their ego too much so the best way to congratulate your best-spud is with this, a sexy potato. 

This gift will fill their heart with warm mash, as it includes a personalised message, congratulations sign and of course a glorious, large potato.
 
If you deem your best-spud worthy, you can add the world's smallest bottle of whisky, or scare the pants off them with an exploding butterfly inside the box!
 
Perfect for house warmings, exam results, engagements, births, a new job, prison release or a new pet gold fish. 

You can now make every item utterly memorable, by choosing 'embarrassing' packaging at check out. This will see your glorious parcel professionally wrapped in a very public, cringe worthy 'satisfying sex toy' box! (Insert evil laugh)