If it wasn't for you Father's day wouldn't mean much. Why a potato gift is adequate

Ahh Fathers, what spud-tacular creatures they are, but every year it's the same thing. What to get Dad for Father's day within the following parameters?

Q: I didn't realise Father's day was this weekend, bollocks

We offer next-day postage

Q: I don't have time to go shopping

Aka you can't be arsed moving, we'll do it all for you

Q: I need to feed my pet llama

Great and majestic beings, you should feed them well

Q: I spent all my money on the llama and now need a cheap gift for Dad

Understandable, most of our spud gifts are under £10

Q: I always get him some dodgy card from Sainsburys

At least go to Waitrose, or use the potato as your card (two gifts in one, bonus!)

Q: Dad and I still awkwardly express our emotions towards each other so the gift must be humourous yet also show that I have some fondness towards him

You can choose your personal potato message! Maybe, 'At least I didn't use your credit card to buy this - I love you!'

Q: I'm hungry, I might get a free dinner out of Dad if I gift him a personalised potato

You are a smart and glorious human